Marriage.
It is so often distorted as a chain. A loss of freedom, or the proverbial "ball and chain".
For those who will ask the question, no I am not married. It is my dream, my goal, and my calling.
Nothing can captivate my mind more easily, hold my attention, or make me ache, as thinking of someday, in my home, and having the privilege of seeing my wife pregnant, and glowing with the life she carries. To think of the gift God will have given me to cherish in my wife.
Yes I know that marriage is not the honeymoon. But I don't fear the trials either.
Our callings are not easy, the road to holiness never is, and that is the greater part of each of our calling. I desire to die to myself in that relationship, in that way, to that person.
To give my self up to my calling.
I at times actually feel restricted in my life because I am unable to fulfill my calling in single life right now.
This would bring me to the point I think of what I am trying to say...
Why is what is good and beautiful a chain? Commitment of any kind in todays world seems to be foreign and wrong.
Our children are destroyed in the womb because we fear the "chains" of ridicule, or responsibility.
We are told we can have sex when and where we want to with who ever we want to.
What about your responsibility to that woman, or that man, that you are sharing your most intimate self with?
No, that must be pushed aside for the greater picture. What I WANT. What I NEED. ME.
And anyone who is capable of examining their own motives knows this, and feels empty.
I am a man. At the core of men is the opposite of that evil mentality.
We are warriors, but we do not dominate or force. We should fight a different battle, for the noble, we were born into nobility. We should fight for truth, with conviction and spirit, in a way that would dispel darkness! Not bring it into ever darker folds of decay.
We are KINGS. But we do not hold dominion over others, or seek to control. We instead feel the call to SERVE at our core. And that applies in any facet of life. If you wish to be single, you serve the world, those around you, and God with your actions, dying to yourself in your actions. Paving the way by example for those who will follow.
If you are called to be married, like I am. Then you seek to die to yourself, to serve your wife and your family and God in the same instance. Because self service, and relationships for the sake of only GETTING love are hollow and only leave to pain.
Or the calling to be a priest. To serve everyone in a very special way. To administer Christ, and to teach, heal, build, and be the captain of the church militant, and again, die to self, and defer to the greater wisdom of God.
Earlier this year I found someone I thought was heaven sent to earth. I asked her to marry me and was the happiest person alive for about 2 months. When she called it off, and completely deleted me from her life without giving a reason why, I learned some of my lessons this year.
That love is service. I wanted nothing but to make her happy and to serve her in any way I could. I learned the meaning behind my calling.
And I learned the cost of what persuing my calling could be. But I don't fear that calling anymore now than I did then.
I don't believe that a calling can be a chain. I think its the only road to freedom.
